Has it hit you yet? The dread of planning dinners, budgeting gifts, visiting family or the dread of not being able to do one of those things when you really want to? Seasonal depression and anxiety are real and they don't play fair. Even when you have the financial ability to have a good holiday season, for example, you’re still overwhelmed by the idea of physically doing it. Whichever way the pendulum is swinging for you, here are a few mindful methods to try when you’re feelings are low or anxietal:
SLOW DOWN, do what you love ONLY
The holiday season is really only about 2 months out of the year, so trying to find time to see everyone and go everywhere in those 8 weeks can be overwhelming. Same goes for trying to cook marathon meals with umpteenth sides and desserts. The key to enjoying the holiday season is to stop trying so hard to enjoy it. No one is grading the efficiency or ‘wow factor’ of your plans. You’re dragging yourself through event after event only to have it all be a blur that you don’t even remember. Your heart will tell you what you really want to do better than your mind ever could. Do things that make your soul smile. If you have children, pick the events that make you wanna dress up and take photos with them. Lean into your inner child (or inner teenager even) and indulge that version of yourself while sharing a new memory with your children or other loved ones. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. It doesn’t have to be exhausting.
Leave work at work
Of course, as adults, we still have responsibilities and day jobs. Breathe through those things and make a conscious choice to limit the amount of energy you give corporate/work spaces. I honestly feel this is something more adults should do in general, but especially during the holidays, don't waste your energy on office gossip, forced work friendships or placing all your worth as a human being into your position. Your value is not defined by work, so stop acting like it if you make a mistake. You deserve to eat, you don’t have to work at a certain pace or standard to earn food, so take your lunch break. Work/life balance is important, so stop bringing your work home and answering emails off the clock, working for free, etc. The last thing that should stress you this holiday season is a job (unless you’re like an astrophysicist or tryna cure cancer or something). We’ll get back to other adult responsibilities in a second.
Maintain Your Boundaries
This is really a sidekick to the above methods because both things listed so far fall under the boundaries umbrella. In order to do what you love, you have to be able to tell others no when it comes to things you don’t wanna do. In order to not bring work home, you have to establish professional boundaries with your employer and possibly plan your escape after the holidays if that employer can’t honor said boundaries. You have to be unapologetic and immovable here, even with family. ESPECIALLY with family. You can do it with love and the utmost respect, it doesn’t have to be a battle. Even if the person you’re speaking to doesn’t agree with the boundaries you set, you can reiterate that you understand that they disagree and it's still something you prefer to do or not do, depending on the scenario, and then remove yourself from further conversation about the subject. If you need assistance with boundaries or have concerns about setting boundaries in a specific scenario, my books are open for one on one coaching sessions. Visit the ‘Book Online’ tab on my website for further info.
Balance Solitude with Social Events
Those who have overwhelming holiday schedules often forget that self-care and personal time are still priority and those who spend the majority of their time in solitude or locked in at work often forget to socialize. These are two extremes that need to meet in the middle. If you’ve been alone in the house for the last few days, go outside and do something with friends or family. If all the people you know are driving you crazy, socialize with people you don’t know. Say hello to the cashier at the grocery store, compliment a stranger on their outfit. Human interaction is essential to your mental and emotional health. The goal is to create positive interactions that feed your sense of community and acceptance. This is a key component to fighting depression and anxiety in general as well as seasonally.
Oh yea, those other responsibilities…
Trust me, I don’t wanna do the dishes either. I damn sure don’t feel like cleaning the bathroom or folding clothes. I would rather spend my holiday season enjoying the festivities than cleaning up after them. Something about holiday cleaning & responsibilities, like paying bills, feels even more time consuming when there’s so much fun stuff to get into. Even if you don’t have a raging holiday schedule, end of year energy just calls for more naps. This sometimes slow and sometimes distracting energy makes skipping out on daily chores and bill due dates way more likely. Adult responsibilities and having a job are similarly annoying during the holidays.
Instead of neglecting your responsibilities and letting them stack up (which will only stress you THEE FAWK out later) try to schedule one day a week to handle your adult chores. If you live with others, divide house chores as evenly as possible amongst everybody. If you can’t block out one whole day, try blocking out 1-2 hours as many days during the week as possible. Stop beating yourself up because your house isn’t as clean as an open house or an Architectural Digest photo shoot. People actually live in your house, so it will look like they live there. THAT’S OKAY. The goal is reasonably clean, not perfect.
Set alarms a day or two before bill due dates so you can check your accounts and make sure you still have funds available. If not, that’s why you set the alarm a few days before so you can contact the company to make a payment arrangement if possible. No shame, it happens to all of us, especially during the holidays. Being proactive about it instead of just letting bills be pass due makes all the difference in how you recover from financial mishaps. If you don’t already have one, designate or open a specific account for all your bills to process out of, either on autopay or scheduled by you. Set a cash amount limit for the holiday season and once you reach it, choose free events like tree lighting ceremonies or driving around to see the Christmas lights instead of going further into debt to keep up with the Jones’. This is where practicing gratitude is pivotal. Focus on what you DO have and what you CAN do.
I hope this holiday season finds you in good spirits.
I pray this holiday season uplifts you.
I speak abundance into your holiday season and upcoming new year.
I send my love to those who are struggling to find joy this season… your feelings are valid and if you choose to, you will rise & recover.
Blessings,
Coach Tiff
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